Memorial Service & Bereavement Information Center

A long, drawn out death can be very draining on the family of the loved one passing away. All parties involved can and probably will feel both emotionally and physically exhausted by the time the person has passed. But being aware of your own impending death does have a benefit –being able to pre-plan the funeral or memorial process. Planning a funeral takes a lot of time, focus, and attention, and trying to plan one immediately after the death will only add unnecessary stress to an already difficult time. Pre-planning your own funeral may seem grim and upsetting, but it is far easier for your friends and family than trying to make arrangements when the grief of your passing has just set in.

Pre-planning a funeral or memorial service not only helps eliminate stress but can also help reduce the costs of the service by allowing you to find the best price for whatever type of ceremony you have chosen. Many funeral providers will offer all-inclusive service packages at an inflated rate. While these packages may seem like the best option because of their simplicity, the funeral provider will often include services that you don’t need, such as prayer cards or guest registration lists, and fees that do nothing more than line his or her pockets. By pre-planning a funeral you can make sure you are only paying for exactly what you need and are getting everything that you’ve paid for.

There are a number of things to consider when planning a funeral or service. One of the most important steps you can take is to make sure your will is accurate and up to date. It doesn’t matter how much or how little wealth you may have; a will guarantees that the state can not take control of your possessions after you have passed. It’s best to let a lawyer draw up the will. Make a list of all your personal property –jewelry, furniture, real estate, etc. –and take it to the lawyer, along with documentation of any financial assets or liabilities. Make sure you sign the will and have the signing witnessed by two people; this will help prevent any disputes over your will after you’re gone.

The next important step is to decide on the type of service you want. Are you interested in a traditional in-ground burial, or would you prefer to be above ground in a mausoleum? Open casket or closed? Perhaps you are more interested in cremation. If so, do you want to a memorial service before or after you’re cremated? What do you want to do with your ashes? Do you have a specific vessel you want them put in, or would you rather have a scattering ceremony? If so, where? All these questions can be considered when deciding on a type of ceremony.

It is also a good idea to consider what you want to be written about you in your obituary. Maybe you have a favorite scripture or piece of poetry you want included. Perhaps you want it to be strictly biographical. Do you want to include the date, time, and location of the service? If you feel uncomfortable writing your own obituary you may want to hire a professional writer –however, a friend or relative may be able to do just as good of a job at no cost to you.

Regardless of what kind of service you choose, you will probably want to get the help of a professional funeral service provider. Many people opt for local, family-owned providers. Large, national chains can often –though not always—feel too impersonal. Choosing a locally-owned provider may help make the whole process more comfortable. Don’t be afraid to enlist the help of multiple providers. Planning a funeral shouldn’t be a one-stop-shopping type of ordeal. It’s better to choose services that are exactly what you’re looking for and at a cost that you and your family can afford.

Part of pre-planning a funeral is taking care of all the expenses that are involved. You may want to talk with your lawyer about what part of your assets could be used to pay the funeral provider. Or, if you’d prefer, you can pay for services before they actually occur. Either way, it is important to take care of the costs beforehand—you don’t want to leave your friends and family holding the bag.

Pre-planning a funeral is not an easy process. However, taking care of all the details ahead of time will take unnecessary stress off the ones you leave behind. Shop around, choose services and providers that feel right for you, and you will have ensured a better peace of mind for yourself and your loved ones.

~ Ben Anton, 2008

Photo courtesy of Romanlily

Tags: coping with grief, funeral planning, funeral provider, obituary writing, pre-planning a funeral

This entry was posted on Monday, August 25th, 2008 at 12:42 pm and is filed under Memorial Services. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.