Valley of Life | Online Memorial Blog

All of us will deal with loss at some point in our lives. Losing a family member or close friend can be devastating and can have a lasting effect on all who knew the person who has passed.

One reason for the elaborate ceremonies around death is to help with that loss. The rites and rituals are designed to help ease the transition for all involved. In many cultures and religious traditions, a part of these rituals is the delivery of a eulogy - a short memorial message celebrating the person’s accomplishments and important moments.

If you have been asked to deliver a eulogy, you may feel unworthy of such a task. You may feel that you are too overcome with grief, or that you don’t have the skills to write and deliver an appropriately moving tribute at a funeral or memorial service. If that is the case, it’s important to realize that while writing a eulogy can be daunting, there are tips that can help you manage your anxiety and help you provide a service to the living in their moment of loss.

If you are asked to deliver a eulogy for someone you know and are feeling overwhelmed, take a moment for yourself. Take some time to sort out your feelings about the deceased, and give yourself a moment to gather your thoughts. A eulogy is designed to memorialize and celebrate the good things in the person’s life. Pulling together a selection of memories and comments about those things can be a remarkable way to begin to deal with your own grief.

Another thing to recall is that this is an honor, and a chance to help others to begin to make a transition to a life after the person’s passing. You have a chance to ease the pain of others by providing them with a picture of the best things about that person, something they can hold on to in the difficult days to follow. To be asked to deliver a memorial tribute is to be given the responsibility of assisting many in a few short minutes.

Once you have gotten used to the idea that you will be writing a eulogy, take some time to gather some facts about the person. If by chance you don’t know the person well – perhaps it is a relative, a business or social contact, or an acquaintance - this is especially important. If you have ever been to a wedding, funeral, or memorial service where a speech was given by someone who did not know the subject or subjects well, you know how dry such a speech can be. Even if you do know your subject well, taking some time to hear anecdotes and stories of how that person touched others’ lives in addition to your own can help you create a more complete picture of the person for those who are hearing you.

Once you have gathered your information, decide how you will organize it. Is a chronological approach appropriate (where you trace the person’s life in the order in which it happened), or will you use a variety of portraits of important moments - snapshots of tender times, gently humorous anecdotes, and the like? If more than one person is delivering a eulogy, coordinate with them so both approaches are used.

If you find it hard to think of moving things to say, you may want to look at various sources for inspiration or short quotes to include in your speech. From the Bible or other religious texts to anthologies and websites of eulogy poetry and inspirational quotes, you may find the words you seek. Be careful, however, that you do not overdo it – your own words are more important than anything you can find elsewhere.

When it comes time to writing the eulogy, don’t try to be too flowery. Most eulogies take a more informal tone, more fitting for a personal remembrance. Typically, a eulogy runs around five to ten minutes in length. Keeping your language simple and personal will make it easier to deliver the work when the time comes, and will also help your listeners connect more directly with the sentiments you are offering.

While being asked to deliver a eulogy can be an intimidating task, it is also a great honor. A little time and preparation in the writing stage can make a huge difference in the impact of your delivery and can help you and your friends and family in their time of need.

Tags: eulogy poems, eulogy writing, writing eulogies

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 6th, 2007 at 11:17 am and is filed under Articles. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.