Remember a Loved One: Write an Honest Obituary
One of the greatest ways to preserve the memory of someone you’ve lost is to do so with honesty — painting an accurate picture, portraying a clear image, telling a true story. Often, the first medium through which friends and family can do this is an obituary. As such, don’t copy what others have written in the past, but write something completely unique to the person you’re wishing to memorialize.
For instance, I came across a strikingly unconventional (but honest!) obituary that had me thinking to myself: More obituaries should read like this. The obituary was for a Wyoming man named James William “Jim” Adams. He led a seemingly normal life. The piece made no mention of anything heroic or particularly special about his life. In fact, if anything, Jim Adams seemed like somewhat of a crass man, prone to women and drinking. Despite those impressions, however, I still admire the man.
I found the piece unusually comical, which probably enabled my fond perspective, but more so, I was refreshed to read something so honest about someone’s life. Now, I’m not saying that everyone who writes an obituary is a liar, but it’s not a stretch to say certain details do get gloried in death. I mean, isn’t that where “legends” come from? Clearly, Jim Adams’ story is not one in which the truth has been stretched; quite the contrary, there was a hint of rawness about it, a sense of real-ness. Not only did I feel like I knew this guy personally, I think he’s someone everyone knew.
Being as honest as possible when writing an obituary is the best way to honor a loved one. Anything less than the truth does the deceased an injustice, and any good that their life did bring about, no matter how much or how little, will be unduly tainted by a droll piece of memory that fails to distinctly represent the life they lived.
[photo: sflovestory]
Tags: honest obituary, James William Adams, obituary, Remember a Loved One