Welcome to Valley of Life Forum

I have a secret, well it has been up to now. However, this is the right place to relate it. Its' that life has become so precious that I have an awful fear that people will commit suicide. Somebody out there is feeling theyv'e got to die to take the pain of loss away, and that scares me. Bereavement has made me feel the same way, but I'm lucky in that Iv'e survived other bereavements and I know life gets better. If someone chooses to die, their potential to touch other people's lives dies. That scares me.

What you say is so profound. In times of deep sorrow the darkness can be terribly overwhelming. But there is always light at the end of the tunnel and talking about your feelings will get you there faster. It is scary to think that someone might take there own life in order to end their pain. I hope that people will find the strength and support here and never even entertain the thought. Life is so very precious.

Thank you Kathy for sharing.

- Miri

Dear Miri,
I like you. You make me feel I'm reading from the right page; not overreacting to what I think other people might feel. Thanks.
Kathy.

We lost someone dear to suicide, he was 26 yrs old, he had a wife a daughter and one on the way ... He had a mother one whom he was so close too...He had lots of brothers and sisters and neices and nephews, he came to every party ,,,, he loved to laugh..... his hugs are unforgetable......losing Chris stunned us, it left us desolate. We asked ours selves what we could have done differently. . What must he have been thinking that day , how hopeless his thoughts must have been. We looked on his problems as a whole and saw them as fixable, we wondered if one or some of our words would have changed things... we were angry .... that he took his laughter away from us ...... he took away part of our future . His death was marred by the word suicide. He is remembered by those who didnt know him that well by his death.... not who he had been to us.... not who he could have been... just by the way he held the gun to his head and took his own life....... he took a piece of all of us that day..... our lives have been altered. ...... his mother and brother so depressed and downtrodden... I am sure he had not once considered how heartbroken all would be....another brother riddled with panic attacks since the day of his death.. a sister lost in haze of alcholism..... his own daughters who will never know him ...... every birthday party , family get together changed forever...... and yet the world keeps spinning ...... the living go on...... we love you Chris........ forgive us for not knowing ..... forgive us for not seeing your pain........ we love you always .......
Tracy

Dear Tracy
I made me cry to read about Chris, and what his suicide has left you with. I was aware of a ripple effect when someone committed suicide, but never heard anyone speak or write on the subject. Thanks for providing some insight into your world.
You know, Chris seems like other people who die by their own hand, in that he was loved, liked, vibrant sometimes, and seemed to have all the reasons to live.
But it's you I think of most. Apologising to Chris that you did'nt realise his pain and therefore could'nt help him. You know it could be possible that Chris did'nt want you to know how much hurt he had. Chris, like a lot of people, maybe chose to be a happy - go lucky person. If he admitted his hurts to you, he would have become a different sort of person (maybe needier), and maybe he thought you would'nt like that part of him. Therefore Chris took his own life and preserved his relationship in life with you.
Whatever, Chris' reasons for doing what he did, you have nothing to apologise for because you so obviously would have done anything in your power to help Chris while he was alive, but if he did'nt tell you his hurts, how could you know?
All that's important is that you live your life with this learning, and try to grow into something Chris would be proud of...