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Why is it, when pride myself on being an honest person, bereavement makes me feel I have to lie? Not only that, but I'm going to justify it as well. I said in various places over this site that I had to get positive things from bereavement in order to move on. Well, there's only one way know of doing that and in order for me to recconcile the death with the bereavement, I lie. I've been writing on this site about the positive side of bereavement, that is working through the saddness to accept the death. Well, what I didn't say is that the bereavement takes over a lot of the time, and it's hard to reach the balance I'm looking for. It's quite easy to see the rationality of death with the platitudes that people approach you with, like 'she was in a lot of pain' etc. I'll stay silent or agree with them, and so death is winning. What I didn't write about was when bereavement scores points. Like, I was in the balance a week after Joanna had died. This bloke was looking at me. I said "Do I know you?" He said "No, it's just that I can see a woman holding onto your arm." Well, when Joanna walked, she always held onto my arm apart from her last few months when she was in a wheelchair. And this young man had no way of knowing that because I'd never seen him before. Well, it's hard to come down on the side of the rationality of death when people are telling you things like that, and it makes me feel like even more of a liar, because I don't know if the irrationality of bereavement is so irrational. What do you reckon 'Yadiyaz'?